The #1 most dreaded faux pas of online etiquette, for me, is when someone adds me to an e-mail list and regularly sends me corny viral e-mails or promotional stuff. It’s especially yucky when they CC: everyone’s address visibly into the header - which makes it easy for other chain e-mailers or commercial spammers to harvest my address and mercilessly blast it with more junk.

It’s not the 90’s anymore - mass E-mail isn’t the place for this.

If you stand your ground and bluntly tell relatives and co-workers you don’t want their forwarded e-mails, it often hurts their feelings. The culprits are usually warm, emotional, non-tech-savvy people who are still part of the “web 1.0″ culture which doesn’t understand social media sites and RSS feeds. Sending chain e-mail is their way of showing they care about you - and your asking someone to cease sending the “funny” and “important warning” mails can feel like a slap. Sometimes it can even end the relationship, if the person is especially sensitive or clueless.

How to Protect Your Inbox Without Hurting People’s Feelings

Being extremely diplomatic while defending your e-mail privacy can lessen the impact. Thank them for caring, explain why you can’t handle unsolicited e-mail, elicit their sympathy, and use the situation to introduce new social media tools that offer you better filtering controls:

Dear Aunt Selma,

I appreciate you thinking of me when you saw these kitten pictures - they’re quite adorable!

However, I wanted to let you know about some e-mail issues my account has been having. I typically get over 100 business e-mails a day that require a response on my part. Then I get almost 50 Viagra, penis enlargement and acai berry spams. If my inbox get even one tiny bit more cluttered with non-business or non-personal messages, I get really stressed out because I lose the important personal e-mails in the shuffle.

Therefore, I kindly ask that you do not add my name to CC: or forward me any e-mail message, unless it is written and addressed to me personally.

(Please uncheck my address from your list before you hit send.)

You are always welcome to send me a personal e-mail message about anything, and I’ll be able to see it and get back to you soon.

If you’d like to share interesting links or picture, I’d be happy to check them out outside of my e-mail box . These days most of my friends have moved over to Twitter (http://twitter.com) - why don’t we connect on there? Sign up https://twitter.com/signup (it only takes a minute), send me know your username and I’ll be able to see what you’re up to. You can discover links to interesting stories - share them with a huge community of people - and it’s so much more fun than e-mail!

Check out the Twitter Guide book - http://mashable.com/guidebook/twitter/ - and give me a call if you need any help signing up or figuring it out. I’d be more than glad to help you!

Love you and talk with you soon,

-Brett

p.s. Are you on Facebook? You can add me as a friend on there, too! My profile is http://www.facebook.com/blah-blah-blah

——-

How do you feel about unsolicited e-mails and forwards from relatives and co-workers? Do you tolerate them? How do you manage them?

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Is Social Media Marketing a Rat Race?

by Brett Borders on June 23, 2009

Many people criticize the corporate world as a “rat race” - a meaningless, ruthless existence. But from what I can tell, the lifestyle of a social media professional can sometimes be even more grueling, competitive and stressful than that of a top corporate exec.

Social media never slow downs or takes breaks. It just keeps going. image: tatrattery

When it’s just for personal gratification, social media is lots of fun. But for those who want to make their ideas and campaigns explode on a mass scale (with any kind of consistency) - it demands an incredible investment of time, energy and attention. The pressure to find, consume, share and create new content is relentless. The complex web of social relationships and implicit obligations multiply quickly - many new backs and egos need scratching. Endless reading and learning is required in order to keep your position.

Publish, Ping or Perish

The academic maxim “publish or perish” applies just as much to the online world. Social media people have an incredibly short attention span and tend to forget about people and destinations that aren’t compelling and clockwork consistent. The fickleness is especially harsh on Digg.com - where people will drop you as a friend if you don’t digg their stories for just a few days. When people get sick or go on vacation - they change their username to something like “Gone to Hawaii for 5 days- PLEASE, PLEASE don’t Delete me!

On Twitter, too, you have to hustle to keep people paying attention to your updates and links. Ping people, praise people, retweet people in order to stay “tight” with them - or many will flake and quickly forget you and get enamored with the hot new social media girl or guy.

Tips for Making the the Race More Manageable

1. Pay Attention in Small Doses - There’s no way you can read everything, answer every e-mail or @reply, or interact with everyone (and still get stuff done). So interact with more people on a limited basis. Think one or two word replies. A blog comment or a RT once every couple of weeks will keep the door open to a larger number of people - they won’t think you forgot them.

2. Focus and Specialize - Some people have focused really intensively on one particular site or scene, and they aren’t burdened with trying to learn everything. There’s people who just do green social media consulting. Or people who just focus on LinkedIn. Or on Wordpress. That one section of the social media universe is more manageable.

3. Get Help and Support - Pro power users like Chris Brogan, Brian Clark and Guy Kawasaki have evolved past being “one man shows” and have assembled small, dedicated teams of support. Their virtual assistants and partners to help with some of the more tedious aspects of maintaining their presence - like editing posts, booking flights and finding fresh links.

4. Be Okay with Being Human - Not everyone can be an omniscient industry thought leader or Top 10 power user. Some people have too much of a balanced life, care too much about their spouse or kids, or have important tasks that need their focused attention for several hours a day. Don’t feel guilty for being human and not spending 18 hours a day online if it’s not for you. Make good friends with someone who does and download their notes.

Does social media marketing ever feel like a “rat race” to you? Or not? How do you deal with the pace and learning curve?

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Why Online Enemies Are More Powerful Than Friends

by Brett Borders on June 15, 2009

Social media is a popularity contest. Although not everyone keeps score, there is a distinctly competitive element where people race to build up the most fans, as quickly as possible. Having a large quantity of fans can help you be successful and spread your message. But the size of your online shadow — the (often invisible) enemies who dislike and distrust you — can have have an even bigger impact on your influence.

Ahmadinejad “won” the election, but lost the respect and cooperation of many Iranians and international leaders

If someone thinks you’re uninteresting, they might unfriend or mostly ignore you - but they usually won’t try to get in the way of your success. However, if you speak / act / brand yourself in a way that offends someone enough to put you on their “bad list” - they will oftentimes try to quietly “block” your message from getting out to others:

  • Won’t retweet, reciprocate, or recognize you - ever again.
  • Anonymously downvote your stories or comments.
  • Whisper or gossip negative stuff behind your back.
  • Will recommend “anyone but you” for jobs, speaking gigs, etc.

In more severe cases, people will aggressively try to sabotage your chances of success. They might publish negative or defamatory information about you. Or they’ll go behind the scenes and ask people to blacklist you, or file complaints with the authorities (search engines, site moderators, employers, event organizers). This can quickly erode at the thousands of hours of effort you’ve spent creating goodwill and a positive personal brand.

Active Resistance is the Ultimate Buzz Killer

Creating major buzz around your ideas requires an unbroken crescendo of community cooperation and enthusiasm. A just couple of grudging downvotes or influential people snubbing you early in the cycle can very easily keep your message from gaining momentum fast enough. This is why I believe your online enemies can be more powerful than your friends… your enemies are usually much more diligent about blocking the spread of your message than the average acquaintance is dedicated to spreading it for you. Here’s the rough equation in my head:

Detractors are much more likely to resist your efforts than casual friends are willing to support them.

I see the most successful and influential people online as those with a relatively large number of fans and relatively few harsh detractors. To me, an aggressive marketer with 10,000 superficial friends “on paper,” but only 50 who really trust and endorse them — and a shadow of 50,000 people who feel they’re a spammer, loudmouth or self-centered jerk… has far less true influence than a person with “only” 450 diehard fans who will do anything for them and 5 people who dislike them.

There’s always the temptation to cut corners or do things quickly to get ahead - things like auto DMs, mass e-mail lists, follow and unfollow games, copying people’s ideas or content, bragging, flambait & personal attacks… and they might work to some degree but they often have the side effect of hurting people’s feelings and respect for you. People’s respect is a vital and difficult-to-repair social media asset.

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Why You Should Create Headlines First & Content Second

by Brett Borders on June 10, 2009

An amazing film or magazine article can overcome a bad title. But online content with a bad headline will never get clicked on — let alone quickly Dugg or retweeted. The overabundance of good web content leaves people with little attention to spare on anything but the most tempting, succulent descriptions.

Wait for the epiphany where the perfect headline appears “in lights,” then go write your viral piece.

Too often… when working with friends and clients on viral content ideas… we’d get excited about a cool concept that can’t easily be expressed in under 65-or-so characters and then spend hours creating the content. As a very last step, they turn to the headline box and struggle to come up with something even passably awkward. Inevitably, the piece bombed… and left them with a terrible social media hangover after all that hard, creative work. Many repeated disappointments inspired me to change my workflow:

Brainstorm a list of incredible, magnetic headlines first. Once you have a stash of golden, “sure-fire winner” headlines, then go create the content that unquestionably fulfills the promise made by each of them.

Not every “cool” content concept has potential for a winning headline. By finding that out first, and then eliminating the ideas that are unlikely to be clicked on and shared - you can focus your energy on creating hit content for those headlines that do have a fighting chance.

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A Brief History Of Social Media

by Brett Borders on June 2, 2009

Social media isn’t really “new.” While it has only recently become part of mainstream culture and the business world, people have been using digital media for networking, socializing and information gathering - almost exactly like now - for over 30 years:

The Phone Phreaking Era (1950’s - Early 90’s)

Early phreaks on “phone trip” to tinker with payphones - image: Mark Bernay (@phonetrips)        

Social media didn’t start with computers, it was born on “line” - on the phone. Phone phreaking, or the rogue exploration of the telephone network, started to gain momentum in the 1950’s. Phone phreaks weren’t motivated by fraud, but rather, they were technophiles and information addicts trapped in a telecom monopoly long before Skype or “free nights and weekends” existed. (Calling a friend in another state could rack up a $40/hr charge.)

These early social media explorers built “boxes“… homemade electronic devices that could generate tones allowing them to make free calls and get access to the experimental back end of the telephone system. Phreaks sniffed out telephone company test lines and conference circuits in order to host virtual seminars and discussions.

Apple Co-founders Steve Jobs (left) and Steve Wozniak (right) phreaking with homemade blueboxes - image: woz.org

The first real “blogs” / “podcasts” took place on hacked corporate voice mail systems called “codelines,” where phone phreaks would hack into unused mailboxes and set up shop until they were discovered and kicked out. You’d call a corporate 1-800 number, enter an extension and hear recorded audio broadcasts packed with social greetings and useful phone phreaking content: hacked calling card codes to make free calls, “bridges” (audio conference call lines), and plugs for other codelines. You could leave your comments and information as a voice mail, and the phreak would likely respond to you in his next update.

The first “tweetup” type social media events were 2600 meetings. I fondly remember my first one in 1993… in the back of a Ft. Lauderdale bowling alley… with lots of fast food, stolen Bellsouth telephone equipment and industrial music-influenced fashion.

Bulletin Board Systems (BBS’s) - (1979 - 1995)

The first BBS or electronic “Bulletin Board System” was developed and was opened to the public in 1979 by Ward Christensen. The first BBSes were small servers powered by personal computers attached to a telephone modem, where one person at a time could dial in and get access. BBSes had social discussions on message boards, community-contributed file downloads, and online games.

The early BBSes had no colors or graphics, but with the advent of MS-DOS 3.0, a predecessor of HTML called ANSI was used to make colors and underground online artwork.

In the 1980’s, the social media scene had a very edgy, underground flavor. There were some legitimate BBSes that offered “shareware” only, but a fair percentage of them had secret “adult” or pirate software rooms in the back. Many were strictly underground - dedicated exclusively to niches like warez (pirated software), H/P (explicit hacking and phreaking information discussion), Anarchy (articles on fraud, bomb making, drug chemistry), and Virus code for download. “Handles” or online pseudonyms were the norm. Real names were closely guarded and generally only revealed to real-life friends (or in the newspaper story when someone got arrested).

Commercial Online Services (1979 - 2001)

Prodigy offered a clean-shaven, moderated social networking environment in the early 90s

Online services, like Prodigy and Compuserve, were the first large scale corporate attempts to bring an interactive, “social” online experience to the masses. Online services rose to popularity concurrently along with BBSes and catered to a more corporate and mainstream-home-user kind of set. They offered a safe, moderated environment for social networking and discussions.

CompuServe was infamous for the high cost ($6 per hour, plus long-distance telephone adding up to almost $30/hr.) - but it offered the first online chat system called CB simulator in 1980. The first real-life wedding from a couple who met via real-time internet chat happened shortly thereafter and was featured on the Phil Donahue show. Prodigy launched nationwide in 1990, growing quickly in popularity for its color interface and lower cost.

AOL brought the social features on the web into the mainstream.

Later, America Online (AOL) gained critical mass with aggressive CD promotions and direct mail campaigns. AOL also did one of the most epic product placements of all time in the 1998 film “You’ve Got Mail!” starring Tom Hanks - bringing “social” online culture and romance into the Hollywood mainstream.

The Dawn of the Word Wide Web - 1991

The internet existed since the late 1960s, as a network, but the world wide web became publicly available on August 6th, 1991.

The Well was a Bay Area BBS that evolved into an ISP and web community.

At the beginning of the 90s, internet access was available only to those with legitimate with university / government / military connections (and to hackers). But around 1994 or 1995, private internet service providers (ISPs) began to pop up in most major metro areas in the United States. This gave millions of home users the chance to enjoy unfiltered, unlimited online experiences. Usenet was the first center for most of the high-end discussion - but early internet users were extremely outspoken and opinionated by today’s standards. The first online social media etiquette standards were proposed, and called netiquette, as a reactionary to stop the rampant flaming and keep things somewhat civilized.

By the late 90’s internet forums grew in popularity and began replacing Usenet and BBSes as the primary nexus for topical discussions.

IRC, ICQ and Instant Messenger

IRC was a popular way to chat and share links in the 90s

People have been addicted to “tweeting” their real-time status updates (using hash tags (#) and at-signs (@)) for over 20 years. IRC, or Internet Relay Chat, was created in August 1988 by Jarkko Oikarinen. It was notably used to break news on the Soviet coup attempt during the media blackout and keep tabs on the first Gulf War. Many people stayed logged into IRC constantly… using it to share links, files and keep in touch with their global network - they same way Twitter is used today.

ICQ technology raised many important questions, such as: “What R U wearing?”

IRC clients were primarily UNIX-based… but in 1996 four Israeli technologists invented the instant messenger (IM) system for desktop computers called ICQ . This was quickly purchased by AOL and it became a mainstream hit. IM technology helped developed the emotional lexicon of social media, with avatars (expressive images to represent yourself), abbreviations (A/S/L? = age, sex, location?) and emotion icons (or emoticons).

P2P - BitTorrent - and “Social” Media Sharing

The “Summer of Music” in 1999 after Napster’s debut was an exciting time for music consumers.

Napster… a peer-to-peer filesharing application that went live in June 1999, marked an radical shift of distribution power from record companies to the consumer. I’ll never forget the (unprecedented) technological thrill of downloading an album in .MP3, burning it to CD on an external $500 drive, and playing it in my car. Music started to freely flow across the internet at an astonishing pace, stripped of hype and payola… on the merit of real people’s tastes and personal collections. The online music party raged through 1999 and 2000 (just like the tech stocks), until it was declared “illegal” and Napster was forced to filter out all the copyrighted content.

Competing peer-to-peer applications like Limewire took Napster’s place - until BitTorrent technology arrived and provided a robust, centralized way to share files without being blocked. The Swedish website The Pirate Bay became a cult online destination for “social” media distribution.

Social Networking & Social News Websites

The first social networking website was SixDegrees which let people make profiles and connect with friends in 1997. This kind of interactive, social web application style became popularly known as “Web 2.0” and it really gained momentum with Friendster around 2002-3.. followed by MySpace (2004 - 2006) and then Facebook (2007 -> ).

Digg gives people a constant, community-filtered stream of potent & engaging content.

Slashdot got famous for generating tons of traffic and buzz around its editor-picked stories, but the modern social news revolution took off when Digg gained critical mass in late 2006 and sites like StumbleUpon and Reddit followed. Delicious became popular as a way to share bookmarks of static pages.

The Real-Time Statusphere & Location-based Social Web (2008 - ???)

Twitter is a form of communication that people needed, even though they didn’t ask for it.

The big trend on the web is moving away from static “pages” and into real-time stream of status updates on what is hot and happening right now.

Location-based software will unlock the mobile experience to its full potential.

The iPhone was the tipping point for hardware, a functional mobile web browser after a decade of delayed hopes and false promises from other manufacturers. Location-based social networking sites like BrightKite allow people to use their mobile devices to “check in” at public locations and be seen by other network members who are physically close by, and let people to transcend the awkward social taboos against interacting with strangers in public places.

Google is trying to build an indispensable, real-time social web app with Wave.

What’s around the corner? No one can say for sure, but Google’s Wave looks like a promising new tool to bring productivity to real-time social media… allowing people to actively co-create and collaborate on projects, documents and events… not just announce them.

——–

What’s your history with social media? What were the most exciting moments and milestones on your own personal journey?

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Tips For Managing Multiple Social Media Accounts

by Brett Borders on May 26, 2009

Ever feel like there’s too many cards in your wallet, or way too many accounts and passwords to remember online? You’re not alone. Even the most die-hard social media users experience registration fatigue and sometimes don’t want to sign up for “yet another account.” But if you have the right attitude and a simple system for managing all your personal social media accounts, you can dive deep into the social web without getting tangled in it:

  • Set up a dedicated “social” e-mail account.

  • Once you’re signed up on lots of sites, you’ll start to get dozens of e-mail notifications per day, and it can feel like “spam overload” when mixed in with your personal messages. Therefore, I recommend setting up a dedicated social Gmail account just for site registration and notifications. I keep tabs on my “social e-mail account” with a POP e-mail reader that can easily be turned off when I’m working or don’t want to be distracted every time someone follows me on Twitter, etc.

  • Register early, before your name is taken.

  • As soon as you hear any genuine buzz about a new site, sign up for it right away - even if you don’t have the time or interest to explore it. This will make sure you get your choice of username, and it will start aging your account and making it look more legitimate when you get active. UsernameCheck is a handy tool that will show where your username is available and where it’s not. KnowEm offers a subscription service to automatically register your name on 120+ social sites.

  • DO use the same username and picture everywhere.

  • People are blitzed with thousands of new online names and faces every month. Make it easy for people to remember you by using the same name and the same avatar (picture icon) on each site. This way you can carry the personal brand you build up on one site over to the others.

  • DON’T use the same password everywhere.

  • Social media accounts are increasingly valuable and they get hacked all the time. Therefore, it’s foolish to use the same password everywhere. I recommend using a simple password algorithm based on the individual site, something like: “first 4 letter of your name + last 3 letters in the sites name + a numeral showing the number of letters in the domain” or “last 3 letters of the domain spelled backwards twice, plus your favorite number” - this would deter all but the most die-hard cracker. Make sure you fill out the security question and pay special attention to security on valuable accounts like Google and Twitter.

  • Use automatic form-filling tools.

  • Professional form-filling tools like RoboForm (Windows) or 1Password (OS X) automatically fill in your username, age, zip code, phone number, etc., — with a single click — when you register for a new site. (Plus they can also auto-generate a complex, unique password for each site and automatically enter it for you.)

  • Compile and print a physical “list of accounts”

  • Make a spreadsheet with all your social media passwords and logins… especially the “vital” stuff like system, router and hosting passwords. Store it securely on your computer and also keep a physical, printed hard copy. While you might not think you’ll need it, accidents and memory lapses happen over the years.

  • Embrace OpenID.

  • OpenId is a open-source protocol designed to greatly simplify registration and password hassles. You can log into a 3rd party site like Mixx using your Yahoo, Google or Facebook password. Using and supporting OpenID helps evolve the web past all these the “multiple account and password” headaches.

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Why Passive-Aggressive Twitter Following Is Spam

by Brett Borders on May 19, 2009

A few weeks ago I mutually befriended a fellow blogger on Twitter, thinking that we had a lot in common… but yesterday I woke up and discovered that I’d been wiped from his friends list. I felt slightly concerned that I’d somehow offended him, until I saw a blog post where he describes spamming 45,000 people for the sake of self-promotion using scripts. It’s worth reading, as an amazingly slick PR piece, where he paints baiting-and-switching people to build one-way followers as a virtuous self-discovery process… and many of his fans applaud him for it.

I’m not writing this to pick on any one person - but to call out and discourage the practice of passive-aggressive follow spam from gaining any kind of social legitimacy. I feel certian that if more people try to gain one-way followers with similar tactics, it will seriously impact the “quality of life” on Twitter.

Is there anything less cool than aggressively mass following people and swiftly mass booting ALL of them?

Why is this kind of behavior passive-aggressive? Because first he aggressively power networked with people… spending months madly mashing buttons and sweet talking anyone with a pulse… often adding hundreds or thousands of new followers per day. Then he passively used multiple scripts to drop everyone (because it would take too much effort to whack everyone by hand) - keeps the benefit of having most of his followers - and then invites those who notice what he did to “re-apply” for friendship.

To me, that’s far sketchier and more insidious than some “Make Money Online” guy building up mutual friends and dropping MLM links. The act of aggressively following and then mass unfollowing deserves a gold cup in the “Social Marketing Hall of Shame” (see picture above).

The Defining Traits of Social Media Spam

  • Spam is self-promotional.
  • The sole motivation is to benefit the person who does it. Oftentimes it will promise false benefits to the recipient (”You Have Won $5 million!, “I’m a nice guy who really wants to connect on Twitter and be your friend!“) to entice people to take action that benefits the perpetrator - i.e., having more people follow them.

  • Spam is done on a mass scale.
  • Spam gets its name from the Monty Python sketch where a restaurant bombards customers with thousands of ‘Spam’ dishes that they really don’t want. Passive-aggressive Twitter spammers hustle thousands of people they have no real interest in connecting with.

  • Spam is automated.
  • Spammers use scripts to follow and unfollow people… to do the dirty work that would be too exhausting to do by hand. Scripts have legitimate uses, but it depends on the intention they are used with: Is it to make connecting and reciprocating easier, or to make baiting-and-switching people easier?

  • Spam is calculating.
  • Spammers know that a lot of people will be irked and inconvenienced by their actions, but they calculate that the long-term personal gain will outweigh the bad karma and short-term fall out.

  • Spam is deceptive.
  • Spammers often use deceptive headlines and double-speak to obscure what is really going on. They’ll try to take your money, clog your inbox and waste your time… and make it seem like it was a good idea or something you signed up for.

    How Passive-Aggressive Following Ruins Twitter

  • It’s a game.
  • Twitter spam is a game to see who can “get” the most attention followers while wanting to “give back” as little attention as humanly possible. It’s the three-card monte of microblogging.

  • It wastes people’s time.
  • It clogs people’s timelines and inboxes with notifications from insincere spammers who aren’t really interested in connecting, causing real friends and fans to get buried in the noise.

  • It disregards people’s feelings.
  • People don’t like being dropped. Fellow spammers don’t notice… but it leaves a very sour taste for those who legitimately care about the other people in their online network.

  • It decreases community trust and goodwill.
  • After people get used enough, they stop trusting. Twitter becomes like a gaudy Flash banner, a Nigerian marriage proposal, the “hot chick” who friend requests you on MySpace… where people learn not to click on anything new.

  • It creates crashes and down time.
  • Using scripts to game people puts an incredible strain on the technical network infrastructure. Next time you are at a conference and urgently need to send a message… and Twitter goes down, thank your neighborhood mass follow spammer for using many times their fair-share of the bandwidth to promote themselves.

    Mass Following or Cleaning Isn’t Spam, But Doing Both IS

    Some people feel that anyone who mass follows is a spammers - but I disagree. I think people like @zaibatsu @robmcnealy & @alohaarleen are ’social butterfly’ personalities who are driven “go big” and interact with thousands of people. They are social marketers (’people artists’) who understand people’s feelings and relationship karma… probably to well to seriously consider the harsh gesture of chopping all their fans in one sweep.

    Nor do I think that all people who trim down their follow lists are spammers. It just depends on how they got their followers and their intentions. If someone is a top blogger or international conference speaker who earned a large chunk of their fans through legitimate buzz ( not from aggressive mass following & hustling) - and they want to cut back on the noise - it’s more forgivable, to me.

    But I’m hard-pressed to think of a social media behavior that strikes me as more unsavory, or more un-rockstar-like than becoming an instant, fake “Twitter celebrity” by using scripts to add zillions of friends — and then using scripts to drop them all the second you think you can get away with it.

    Spammers might think it makes them look “big” and more popular, but for me - it just shows that the Emperor Wears No Clothes. I can read between the lines see what a small-time, “triple digit” player they would be if it they hadn’t resorted to gaming people.

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How to Stay Near the Cutting Edge of Social Media

by Brett Borders on May 18, 2009

It’s fairly easy to get started in social media. But constantly learning, expanding, and evolving your skills as the social software universe expands is harder. A doctor or architect’s tools and materials might change every several years… but the social media game changes every several months.

Homouroboros Art installation - Burning Man Festival 2007. image: Tristan Savatier

Social Media’s “Upward Progressive Spiral”

Why does it move so fast? Technology (especially social software) is driven by what cyberneticists and biologists call positive feedback. It never returns to a steady state but constantly seeks a new equilibrium at a higher energy level. Unlike family life and politics - which tend to operate in cycles - technology is driven by upward spiraling, “progressive” current with infinite tangents and no brakes or down time. As the online population expands, so does the number of new problems and individual desires — along with the number of new engineers and innovators expanding the space. The digital universe starts to pop “off the chart” rather quickly.

Neophobes vs. Neophiles

A neophile at Burning Man 2005. Image: Tristan Savatier                  

According to cyber-philosopher Robert Anton Wilson, there are two basic types of human minds. Neophobes are the traditional majority who instinctively dislike new things and change - because they associate new experiences as “unsafe” or anxiety producing. They do well in traditional professions, conservative religions and political movements, law enforcement, military and government bureaucracies. Neophiles are people who like new ideas, technologies and experiences. Social media adepts are digital neophiles - people who have evolved high-bandwidth, multi-tasking minds. Their ravenous information addiction and lust for novelty spurs to them to learn new technologies quickly - for the immediate gratification and positive feedback it brings them.

Tips For Staying Mentally Fresh, Flexible and Vigilant

If you discovered this article through social media, you’re probably already a neophile and an early-adopter. But you are now being blitzed with more new information to digest than any other human in history, at a faster pace. Unless you can step past the “normal human” mode and train your mind to keep expanding and adopting new ideas and tools, without getting stuck or lazy… you run the risk of burning out and fading into irrelevance in a few short years. Here are some tips for finding and embracing important ideas and trends early on:

  • Follow Trendsetters
  • Find a handful of people you think of as “more advanced” than yourself, and closely follow them on Twitter and FriendFeed. Pay special attention to the tools they’re using, the sources they’re reading and how they work and manage their online lives. Integrate the best of it into your work flow, but don’t just blindly copy people because they are famous.

  • Adopt Early
  • Whenever you first pick up on genuine buzz about a new tool or online destination, go check it out ASAP. Don’t be a laggard and wait until all your friends are pressuring you to join, because you’ll be too to late to get noticed (and your username will be taken). Subscribe to RSS feeds of blogs like Read Write Web, TechCrunch or Mashable and skim the headlines every day.

  • Dedicate Ample Time for Learning
  • If you’re not spending a sizable percentage of your time learning and exploring new tools, you’re probably falling behind and sabotaging yourself. Sacrifice some of your workday (and some nights and weekends) - or sacrifice your career. Social media isn’t “traditional” work and you can’t be expected to keep grinding away on profit-producing projects, like a secretary or a shoe repair guy, for 40 hours a week and stay current.

  • Balance Consumption with Production
  • Social media can be just as mind-numbing as the TV “boob tube,” and it can be even more addictive and time-wasting. It all depends on how you use it. In principle, I try and spend a good portion of my time online producing or creating something - new blog content, videos, code, new business and connections. Sure, it’s important to surf and keep tuned in to social media “pop culture” - but draw the line at some point… and use the blast of information and inspiration to create something other people will enjoy. It’ll will get your mind in “the zone.”

  • Play Video Games
  • Video games are a easy way to interactively play with a new digital reality or interface, and I’ve found it can help keep my mind limber for “cracking” into new projects, sites and strategy puzzles. (If you like puzzles, check out World of Goo - it’s the best game I’ve played since I was a kid).

  • Attend Technology Conferences
  • Going to tech conferences is a great way to break out of your usual online routine and get confronted with new ideas and people that you would never encounter in front of your keyboard. Get it straight with your boss that you are a true professional who is interested in learning and development. If your employer won’t pay, start by going to local events and meetups… and invest your own money into going to one or two bigger conferences each year instead of vacation. The connections you’ll make can pave the way for brighter employment and business possibilities.

  • Go to Burning Man
  • Burning Man is a annual festival where over 40,000 tech-savvy neophiles gather in the desert of Nevada, build a futuristic city, and then burn it down at the end of the week. This exuberant celebration of creativity, psychedelics, high technology, sexuality, human potential and extreme-cutting-edge art inspires people to transcend psychological limits and think bigger than ever before. Larry and Sergy raged at Burning Man in ‘99 right before Google went big: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!

  • Transcend Limits with Athletic or Spiritual Practices
  • Doing high-intensity physical activities like surfing, snowboarding and trekking adventures helps loosen my mind and push it to new levels of awareness and receptivity. The oxygen, adrenaline and endorphin quiets the noise and clutter in the mind, making it cleaner, calmer and more “open.” In a different way, meditation and prayer can do the same thing.

  • Equalize Your Brain Hemispheres
  • I’m mostly a left-brain person who enjoys verbal tasks like selling and writing… and I have a harder time getting deep into analytical and numeric stuff. But I notice I feel significantly more balanced and “tuned in” after I challenge myself with some right-brain stuff like spreadsheets, bookkeeping and code. Don’t try and ignore or delegate every task you don’t love - take a crack at it. It will allow you to see hidden details and opportunities you otherwise would have blinders to.

  • NEVER Get Complacent
  • The second you get intellectually lazy and feel like you know “enough” - and there’s no more effort you can make at processing and discovering - is the second you start to go downhill. Whenever you notice that you’re stagnating or getting stuck in a routine, take a break and then try one of the above things on this list to break out of it and keep on going.

    Enjoy the Ride

    Riding an art car at Burning Man. image: Ryanicus

    Actually innovating and being on the cutting edge takes uncommon levels of intuition and creative inspiration - beyond the scope of this blog post - but I believe that almost anyone can learn to stay “near” the cutting edge with the right attitude.

    Social media is a challenging game to play… But it’s creative work that is, to me, far more exciting than most other professions. So be grateful, be nimble, be playful, and strive to stay near the cutting edge… the rewards are great and the possibilities are infinite!

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10 Simple Ways to Show Kindness Online

by Brett Borders on May 5, 2009

S

ome of the top social media “rockstars” come across as incredibly nice people. They’ve cultivated a conscious, polished online interaction style that makes other people feel included, welcome, important and appreciated. An “aura of awesomeness” is crowned upon them, in part, because their fans feel good after interacting with them.

DL says, “Showing kindness makes others feel good, while building up your personal brand equity.” image: Upaya

Being in front of a computer all day can feel quite isolating. People turn to social media for human connection and solace… so they respond exceptionally well to warm, personal, supportive signals. Being kind costs nothing, it’s easier to do online than in real life, and it’ll score you major bonus points:

1. Say it With a Smile :)

You can add a emoticon, or emotion icon, to almost any statement and make it seem more positive or expressive. You don’t have to start typing like a Japanese schoolgirl 8) who’s obsessed with Hello Kitty ;) , but if you find the occasional place where you can add some positive vibe your Tweet or IM with a smile, go for it. =)

2. Praise and Show Affection

Everyone responds well to sincere praise. Telling someone “Nice blog!” or “great question!” or “You rock!” usually creates a warm, fuzzy feeling on a cellular level. If you’re sure it’s appropriate, adding a cybernetic expression of physical affection like “*hugs*” “xoxo” or even a Borat-style “High five!” can make someone feel special.

3. Use Terms of Endearment

Using a term of endearment tells someone you consider them a member of your online ‘inner circle.’ “Bro,” “mate,” “dude,” “brother,” “buddy,” “bud” or “man” is what guys use. Girls call each other “sister,” “girlfriend,” “chica,” “hun,” and even “dude” (!), according to @KezzaMcDezza and @Linguna.

4. Respond to Everyone

Anytime someone reaches out to you by name, it shows they’re thinking about you and trying to make a connection. As the size of your network starts to grow, it becomes exponentially harder to respond to everyone who mails, comments or replies to you - but you should still try to respond. You can save time by talking to multiple people in @replies, and responding to comments & unsolicited e-mails very briefly… “Thanks for writing. Gosh, I have no idea how to fix that problem… Best of luck!”

5. Express Your Appreciation & Thanks

Thanking people for little things like e-mailing you, retweeting you, inquiring about business, or even asking a question — is an easy way to brand yourself as a gracious, approachable person. Power users like @cheth,@sharonhayes and @zaibatsu have built up large, responsive followings — in part — by thanking people.

6. Agree With People

When someone feels strongly enough to state their opinion in public, they are oftentimes looking for a little validation and support. Letting someone know when you agree with them is a thoughtful and effortless to strengthen your connection.

7. Make Other People Look Good

Everyone wants to be around someone who highlights the good works of others. You’ll create a strong bond with the person who is recognized and it makes you seem like a chivalrous ‘good guy’ to others. Win win.

8. Help Other People “Get It”

Want big points in my book? Be the person who helps a community of others get it, too,” says Chris Brogan. Offer to freely help other people figure out technical challenges or “learn the ropes” on a new site or service - and they will feel chock full of gratitude every time they see your name or avatar. They’ll be sure to help you next time you need it.

9. Avoid Negativity, Hostility, Criticism and Snark

It can be tempting to take a quick dig at someone you disagree with or slam something that seems wrong. You might score a few points from sympathizers, but others — who probably won’t speak up - will unconsciously associate you with negativity. They’ll begin to see you as crank or bad-mouther who isn’t safe to trust or connect with. Think before you hit “send” or “enter.”

I have a snappy wit and a tongue that can be razor sharp. But I never forget the venue and never forget that this is a public forum. So I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and I treat others as I’d want to be treated,” says @ShellyKramer.

10. Keep Your Promises

Be sincere. If you say you’re going to do something online, it’s a written contract. Do it. If you don’t you’ll score definite “negative points” to the people who were expecting you to come through. If you can’t follow through with something that will be (unfairly) implied or expected of you, say so upfront: “I’m releasing this free guide ‘as is’ and don’t have time to update it.”

Kindness Does Not Equal ‘Fakeness’

This isn’t to say that everyone must always be a cheerful Mr. Rogers with no personality or edge — you should be yourself. But be conscious of how you come across to others (who might not know you so well). I’ve noticed that a majority of people like to follow those who show friendly strength: intelligence, knowledge and authority + kindness, humility and tact.

Kindness isn’t fakeness. It’s a powerful, civilized way of showing consideration for others, first, in order to earn their respect. It’s easy to do: try it and see how far it will get you!

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How to Build a Strong Reputation With Comments

by Brett Borders on April 28, 2009

In the 1970s and 80s, the top New York City graffiti artists were engaged in a fierce personal branding contest. They sought maximum name recognition by “bombing,” or painting their name on as many subway trains and high-profile public places as possible. The goal was to make sure that every single person in NYC saw their name — all decked out in cutting-edge typography and colorful artwork.

Build strong relationships and widespread name recognition, just by leaving comments. image: jovivebo

I think comments are a lot like graffiti in the social media world. They’re an opportunity to freely “tag” your name and show off your writing in public places around the internet. (And they also invite spam and vandalism). Many new bloggers approach comments quite casually or unconsciously… without realizing if you get more organized and systematic about leaving comments, you can build a strong reputation and generate highly-targeted traffic for your own sites and content.

The Reciprocal Nature of Comments

When you leave a comment on someone’s blog, Flickr photo, or Digg story… they’ll (almost) definitely notice. Pleased that you paid attention to their content, many bloggers will click through to take a look at your profile or blog. If you comment on someone’s content regularly, you’ll build up karma… and some will eventually feel compelled to reciprocate and comment on your stuff as well, says @AussieSire. So give comments out generously, and you’re sure to get some back:

image: @BrettGreene

Tools for Efficient Commenting

Top graffiti writers are very organized with backpacks full of tools (headlamp, paint, wide spray nozzles, markers, stencils) they need to get their point across. You need the right stash of social media tools to be successful and efficient with your comments:

  • Register a Gravatar acount
  • Gravatar or “Globally-recognized Avatar” is software system that allows your picture to show up consistently across blog platforms (like Wordpress & TypePad) and social sites. Upload a picture, user name and e-mail - and your picture will show up automatically in many comments.

  • Register With Disqus
  • Disqus is a popular, spam-resistant comment management system. Disqus-enabled blogs remember your identity automatically - so you can get straight to the comment without the hassle of entering your name & e-mail address. Register at Disqus.com and upload the exact same picture you used for your Gravatar account. Don’t forget to configure your display name exactly how you want it to show up on blogs - because the default username is often difficult to read (”johnqsmith” instead of “John Q. Smith“).

  • Install an RSS Reader
  • Trying to keep track of blogs by with bookmarks or, worse, typing the URLs into your address bar is terribly inefficient. To be a comment ninja you absolutely must have an RSS reader - and I recommend Whizz RSS. It fits right into the sidebar of Firefox, so jumping to the comments box on your friends’ latest blog posts easier than pushing the button on a switchblade.

  • Get easyComment for Firefox.
  • A lot of people hate leaving comments because it feels like registering for a new site each time. easyComment is a free Firefox plugin that lets you enter your name, e-mail address and site information with just one click. It’s like “cruise control” for commenting. If you plan on doing heavy-duty commenting for sites using multiple names, consider a professional form-filling tool like 1passwd (OS X) or RoboForm (Windows).

Building an Effective Comment Strategy

Get your name and writing style seen in just the right places. image:SeeTwist

  • Pick strategic “targets” to comment on
  • Leaving a comment is a direct step towards building a relationship with a blogger. It’s also a great way to promote your site - a “first” comment on a major blog like Mashable or TechCrunch can send more direct click-through traffic than the home page of Sphinn or Mixx. So pick the people & blogs you want recognition and traffic from, and add them to your RSS reader. Make subfolders to keep it all organized and allow you to dish out the right amount of comment love to the right people. I’ve got: “local blogs,” “real-life friends,” “social media blogs,” “Digg friends,” etc.

  • Leave comments in batches
  • It’s very, very easy to get distracted while commenting. Make a block of time each week (i.e., Tuesday evenings) where you can spend a few hours in your RSS reader, leaving comments on your “long tail” blog list.

  • Create a balance of quality and quantity
  • A brilliant comment on a popular blog can get more retweets and buzz than the article itself. So spend the bulk of your time and brain cells writing quality comments in the places you really want to been seen and respected, and be more quick or casual if the goal is just to let an old friend know you’re still reading their stuff.

  • You don’t have to read the whole article
  • It takes a long time to carefully read each post and write an elaborate comment that covers all the points. If an article starts to bore you, you don’t have to read the whole thing. Just scan it and pick one point that speaks to you. Comment on that point.

  • Use your name, not keywords
  • No one wants to get a comment from “Home Mortgage Refinancing,” and this pathetic link-text building effort will almost surely backfire on you. Comment with the name you use most consistently on the internet. You can usually get away with adding your URL name or Twitter handle into the “Name:” field of a blog comment. Leaving a comment as “Brett @ Socialmediarockstar.com” or “Brett Borders (@BrettBorders)” isn’t usually frowned upon - but use your discretion. This can make your comment stand out - and encourage people to click through and see your site or Twitter profile.

  • Add insight or conversational value
  • While some bloggers really dislike “Great article!“-type comments or think they’re spammy, I appreciate them more than no comment at all. But at least, try to briefly write out why you thought it was a great post or why you agree with it. “Great post! I think you nailed all the main objections. I believe that #2 - lack of economic incentive - is the strongest argument.

  • Don’t be afraid to drop a highly-relevant link
  • If you have written a substantial, on-topic comment — and you have a blog post or software that is extremely relevant — don’t be afraid to drop a link in your comment. It might get edited out, but if you’re sincere… it will often stand. Don’t ever waste your time spamming blogs with irrelevant links or automated comments - it will hurt your reputation far more than it will help it!

Take the “100 Comment Challenge”

Effective commenting is a core social media skill that can make a huge impact on your personal branding and blogging success. If you comment with consistency and flair, people will soon begin to feel like they know and “trust” you - and you’ll start to build a good reputation in your chosen niche.

image:SeeTwist

If you’re a new blogger who rarely leaves comments, I challenge you to step up your social media game: try out the tools and strategies in this post and leave at least 25 comments a week over the next four weeks. Observe how the comments you leave directly affect people’s responsiveness to you, your blog traffic and comment counts, and the number of new connections and relationships that develop.

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